"Love is a flavour of life and Relationships is an approach to that", a year ago, this is the exact phrase, which I mentioned in one of my previous blogs. I tend to believe that experiences are probably difficult to define and articulate. Most of us believe that life is a beautiful journey with suffice surprises and adventures, I endorse the same belief. A travel can remain meaningless if the wanderer isolates himself in the hotel, without exploring the place of visit. In the same way, I felt that my life would become meaningless if I don't explore the experiences of various emotions. Life is a beautiful gift presented to me, you and billions of others, to find and meet beautiful souls, cherish the living, and add a meaning before it ends. We all are blessed with a limited span of life with infinite entities binding it. Whether it might be emotions, professions, education, beliefs etc we all have sources for these infinite entities and the span of life would not be sufficient enough to explore them properly. This is where priorities come into the picture, Priorities are the decisions which leads to prosperity, A priority when subjected to an intention and nurtured with time and effort, it leads to the applaudable accomplishments. Priority towards money may fetch wealth, Priority towards knowledge may fetch wisdom, Priority on physique may fetch health. Observe that in all these examples I mentioned the word "may" which shall be detailed in this blog. If this priority question is posed to me, I would answer that my priority in life is to have some people, who celebrate and cherish being with me and to accumulate magical memories so as to recollect at my final moments. On a sweet note, my priority is towards love to fetch meaningful relationships.
"Everything that is not forbidden by the laws of nature is achievable, given the right knowledge."
- David Deutsch
In the above examples, I mentioned the word may because priorities alone with an improper implementation can cause chaos, and love is not an exception to it. Connecting the dots of word may and the above-mentioned quote, I certainly believe that, love in spite of being one of the purest emotion, it still needs to be dealt with proper understanding. It is because of the involvement of multiple mindsets, belief systems, opinions, lifestyles etc. Despite its complexity, we were never properly educated about love but unfortunately, we are highly expected to lead the rest of our life in a companionship. This is the reason why I thought to blog on this occasion by mentioning my views and opinions about a relationship in my approach.
Disclaimer: This blog is written out from my manuscript which I often read to myself, this blog is written in a style of speaking narration which I do it to myself. It has no intention to disrespect the opinions of any individuals in any means.
Unconditional Love: If there is something sweet by its nature, pleasant by its appearance and pleasure by its behaviour, I tend to desire for experiencing it to the fullest, by diving deep into its involvement I wish to let every nerve of mine to participate in its pleasure. Love is one such beautiful emotion, so I aspire to experience its purest form which is known as unconditional love. Perhaps many of the living forms desire unconditional love but the irony is that sometimes we may expect unconditional love holding a lot of conditions to meet as criteria. In one of my favourite books, it is mentioned that we are naturally wired for compassion but we are trained for greedy. I certainly agree with that, even my childhood compelled me with security cautions of not to accept edibles presented by unknown persons which resulted in a mistrust on society to such an extent that, I only touched belongings of my family. The point I wish to make here is, I am supposed to be cautious with strangers but I denied affection of my friends, wellwishers etc. In the same way, existing scenarios are in such a way that when some people around us show some genuine care and concern for us, we may quickly doubt their intentions. Let the desire for unconditional love eradicates the baggage of conditions. Our memories are about the past, our imaginations are about the future don't let these two suffer the present situations.
Alter Visualisation: It took decades of life for our partner to mould their character and we may not have spent ample amount of time in understanding them, but the rushed mind will start visualising and assuming the characteristics of the partner according to our expectations so that we may feel more pleasure. Studies say that the human mind doesn't know the difference between imagination and reality. So when the moment comes at which we discover that our partner is not the one who we imagined they were, repercussions takes place.
Express the intentions: Just how inevitable, the thoughts are for the mind, Blood pumping for heart, in the same manner, generating affection is for love and it is utmost important to timely express them because even the life sources like water, air and food are meant to serve their purpose and leave the human body within the stipulated time, beyond which they may turn toxic, the same way through the emotion is purest, still it needs to be expressed out, else may cause toxic feelings like Fear of losing the person, aggression, insecurity, jealousy etc.
Whatever it takes: You read it right, it may sound filmy but bigger the aspirations demands for bigger contributions. The purest form of emotion like love is divinely pleasant. To host such a pleasant emotion, purity in the heart has to be maintained by eliminating negative vibes and moulding ourselves to get prepared in fulfilling the required understanding, sacrifice, support, care, compassion, trust, loyalty and truth.
Evolvement is the Law of Nature: Personally, I can't relate to the same me who was at 5 years ago, As a human beings we do evolve. If a commitment of relationship occurs and within a span of time, the partner evolves as a better person(hopefully) and the cross-questions occur of not matching the person of past then the entire relationship may seem meaningless. A Partner should be in such a way to uplift mutually in terms of, personal mastery, family, values, professionally and love shared in between them. It is a mutual responsibility to monitor whether their personal and relationship's journey is progressive in roots of understanding. There is a need to possess the sparkle of curiosity about the partner's inner world and make them feel important, worthy and supportive for together aspirations.
Fulfil the meaning of relationships: Relationships are not just a choice of commitment to love but it is also a responsibility of togethership. It is quite expected to spend some quality time, purposeful conversations, building up the understanding. Especially even after knowing that one's actions have access for emotional stability for the partner's, it is not fair to ignore the partner for a prolonged period of time. Indeed everyone needs self-time, family-time, career time, spiritual and health concern time and it is okay to stay far for a considerable amount of time, but prolonged separations lead to long term problems. At least an acceptable amount of time is expected to be spent together for the healthy maintenance of relationships.
No-Fly Zones: Healthy relationships often come across conflicts and disturbances but understanding is the fuel that keeps the relationship going. In conflicts, the mistakes might be from either of the individuals, It depends on the person to either admit their mistakes or not. If not the entire topic of the incident will be skipped without speaking about it and keeping it unresolved, because no one is ready to admit their mistakes, over a period of time this will become a no-fly zone(In a sense, restricted to speak about), but in the further conflicts, if the pasts no-fly zones are mentioned, it will make the situation worse. It is better to resolve the misunderstandings on regular basis and if the partner is not ready for it, try to reconsider the situation with their concern. If the misunderstandings aren't cleared in time, they become the reason for the distance.
Conflicts: At any discussions, when the heat of the argument increases, any individual may naturally tend to defend themself. As a human every individual do possess certain belief system, In an argument when one points out other, any one of them may feel inferior and just to defend their self they may speaking according to the situation favour ignoring the truth, though subconsciously knowing that it is unfair. Just to win an argument it is not advisable to stand defending mistakes by adopting certain unfamiliar belief systems by ignoring the natural belief system. Temporarily it may win the argument but it will cause serious damage to the mutual trust. This is why relationships should be built on truth. Chaos will be caused when the partner looks to defend the relationship and other looks for reasons to prove them wrong. If the partner remains silent it doesn't mean they admit the situation, sometime it may sense that they prefer peace than proving the point.
Its Relationship: The commitment between the partners is profound, sometimes the situations may seem to be new, the affection may seem to be weird just because it is not previously experienced and it is the reason why misjudging may happen, It would be better if love and care are not misunderstood as possessiveness and jealousy. It is better not to ignore the partner in pain because of their mistakes. As mistakes are quite common in life, it may be unfair to lose people and hold the reasons, because by the end everyone needs someone to stay.
Someone who is out of a Toxic Relationship:
Nelson Mandela on his release from 18 years of imprisonment, had invited his jailor, prosecutor for dinner so as to forgive them to move on with his life. It is an inspiration to break the shackles of the past and to let delays behind you get eradicated. It is the moment to claim our life, peace and prosperity. Better to stand at the test of time and claim the life that you deserve. It is indeed misery to witness the together-dreams getting diluted, to answer the screams of the soul often. The world is full of takers, it is better to be a giver of compassion. Soldiers are trained, warriors are made but heroes are originated. Escalate your greatness by spreading the arc of smile. It is ok if someone didn't accept who we are, probably they might be not in a stage to accept their selfies without filters. Let go of the past, from Living in past progress towards heroic future. If the same pain can knock the doors of your nights, I am pretty sure your mornings can welcome new hope too.
-- with love, dsp.
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